What does the box office disappointment of Watchmen mean for these two planned comic book adaptation movies that seems destined to offend religious groups?



WHO’S STARRING IN IT? The very hot Jenna Dewan (probably best known as Nora in the 2006 flick Step Up) and Luke Goss, who played villain Prince Nuada in Hellboy 2: The Golden Army.

WHO’S MAKING IT? Platinum Studios chairman Scott Mitchell Rosenberg and Gale Anne Hurd and her Valhalla Motion Pictures. Ryuhei Kitamura (Midnight Meat Train) is set to direct.

SO IT’S A COMIC? Yup, one published by Top Cow Productions, a partner studio of Image Comics (Witchblade). But Magdalena doesn’t have her own on-going series so you’ll have to settle for a trade paperback collection.

WHAT’S IT ABOUT THEN? The Magdalena is a skimpily-dressed superheroine (see pic) who is in fact a direct descendent of the Biblical Mary Magdalena. Each generation has its own Magdalena and she is trained by the Knights of Malta to be a superpowered hitman (or is that hitwoman?) for the Catholic Church, which sends her on missions to fight demons, vampires and heretic best-selling authors such as Dan Brown and Richard Dawkins. Er, just kidding about the last one . . .

WHO WILL IT OFFEND? Catholics mostly. In the Magdalena comics the Catholic Church comes across more like the Mafia than anything else. That is, if the mafia had sexy Buffy-like warriors in hot outfits working for them, that is.

BUT WILL IT REALLY OFFEND THEM? To be honest The Magdalena is so far-fetched that it is doubtful whether anyone will really be offended. At one point the Magdalena actually battles Hitler himself for possession of the Spear of Destiny! It’s all very comic book stuff even though it does go on a lot about the Crusades a bit like, um, Dan Brown. But that’s one thousand years ago and we’ve moved on, right? Actually The Magdalena makes the Church looks a lot cooler than it is. Super sexy assassins in leather? Who could have thought it?

NEVER MIND RELIGIOUS SENSIBILITIES, ARE THE COMICS ANY GOOD? It’s all very Witchblade, with loads bare skin (but no outright nudity) on display. Not particularly deep or interesting to be honest . . . and it does go on about the Crusades a lot you know. Typical Image Comics art work though, very professional looking.

AND THE MOVIE? It can only be bad. For some reason we can’t stop thinking of BloodRayne here! But we’re hoping for so bad it’s good here. Let’s hope they keep the whupping Hitler’s ass bit! Female superheroines just haven’t been quite working out at the box office to be honest (Catwoman, Aeon Flux, etc.)

USELESS FACT: Producer Gale Anne Hurd was married to director James Cameron and produced Terminator and Aliens. Her most recent movies include The Incredible Hulk, Punisher: War Zone and, um, Aeon Flux . . .


Next: "Think a superhero Lord of the Rings, but with Bollywood visual iconography set in the far future . . . "




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