says Hollywood is creatively bankrupt? Well, um, actually we do – as this
list of the usual slew of remakes, sequels and adaptations of novels and
comic books planned by the major Hollywood studios for the next few years
show . . .
John Carter of Mars (Andrew Stanton) – The first of three
planned movies based on novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs, the creator of
Tarzan. The first movie is to be based on his Princess of Mars
book, which is the first adventure of John Carter, a Civil War veteran who
unexpectedly find himself transplanted to the planet Mars. Yet this red
planet is far more than a dusty, barren place; it's a fantasy world
populated with giant green barbarians, beautiful maidens in distress, and
weird flora and monstrous fauna. By the director of Finding Nemo.
Cell (Eli Roth) – Adaptation of Stephen King novel about a
cell phone signal which turns most of the planet’s population into raging
zombies. By the director of Cabin Fever and the Hostel
movies. Haven't we already seen this sort of thing in Pulse and
28 Days Later?
Camp Creepy Time (TBC) – Based on an upcoming children’s
book by actress Gina Gershon and her brother Dann Gershon. Summer-camp
leaders are aliens turning fellow campers into monsters and shipping them
to intergalactic zoos. An eccentric 13-year-old boy discovers what is
happening and must rescue his fellow campers. Richard LaGravenese who
wrote the screenplay for Freedom Writers and Bridges of Madison
County will do the screenplay and possibly direct.
Fantastic Voyage (Roland Emmerich) – A remake of
Fantastic Voyage, the 1960s movie
starring Raquel Welch and Donald Pleasance, directed by Richard Fleischer.
Plot involves a scientist who is dying of a blood clot.
His only chance for survival is for five scientist colleagues to be
miniaturized in a ship, and injected into his bloodstream.
This is of course nothing new: the most recent movie to
employ the same plot device was Inner Space,
the 1987 comedy starring Dennis Quaid, Martin Short and Meg Ryan.
Magneto (David Goyer) –
X-Men prequel which looks at the early life
of Eric Lensherr (Magneto) and his friendship with Charles Xavier. This
spin-off will follow a young Magneto (played in the original trilogy by
Ian McKellen) discovering if his powers are real or not and the journey of
his survival as a young man and how the one-time allies became mortal
Used Guys (TBC) – The futuristic Used
Guys is set in a world where women run the Earth. Men became extinct
because they ingested an enhancement drink that proved fatal. Carrey and
Stiller will play clones rendered obsolete by superior models whose
enhancements include better listening and lovemaking skills. The scorned
clones make a run for it, bent on regaining their dignity by searching for
a male nirvana known as Mantopia. This spoof of
Logan’s Run was scheduled to star Jim Carrey and Ben Stiller. Jay
Roach of Austin Powers fame was to direct. However its studio
pulled the plug when the projected budget of $112 million became too high.
Most of the money was supposed to go to the stars so expect this project
to be revived sometime, but will smaller name stars.
The Spirit (Frank Miller) – Adapted from the legendary Will
Eisner's graphic novels, The Spirit tells the visceral,
action-packed story of a man who fakes his own death and fights crime from
the shadows of Central City. The Octopus - who kills anyone unfortunate
enough to see his face - has a different mission: he's going to wipe out
the entire city. The Spirit tracks this cold-hearted killer from Central
City's rundown warehouses, to the damp catacombs, to the windswept
waterfront... all the while facing a bevy of beautiful women who either
want to seduce, love or kill our masked crusader. Expect something in the
vein of Batman Begins and Sin
-> NEW LINE
20, 000 Leagues Under the Sea (TBC) – New version of the
well-known Jules Verne novel.
The Time Traveller’s Wife (Robert Schwentke)
– Adaptation of the Audrey Niffenegger novel, tells the story of a dashing
librarian (Eric Bana) at Chicago's Newberry Library who has a gene that
causes him to involuntarily time travel. He must help his wife cope with
the many complications of his disorder as the two are often out of sync.
Capricorn One (TBC) – Remake of the
1978 conspiracy thriller about a Mars
landing faked by NASA.
Thor (Matthew Vaughn) – Adaptation of the Marvel comic book
franchise that launched in 1962. Thor is a blonde-tressed, hammer-wielding
hero who's sent to Earth to protect mankind.
The Grays (Wolfgang Petersen) – Movie based on the novel by
Whitley Strieber who claimed in his 1987 best-seller that he was abducted
and anally probed by aliens. The Grays is supposedly non-fiction although
according to Publishers Weekly it draws heavily from Communion. The plot?
According to Publishers Weekly: “Danny and Katelyn Callaghan are a happily
married couple oblivious that both took a saucer ride as kids—until a UFO
sighting in their Indiana town awakens subliminal memories and excites
their genius teenage son, Conner. Meanwhile, in a secret facility in
Colorado, Air Force Lt. Lauren Glass learns that the Roswell incident
really happened, and that for decades the surviving ETs have been sharing
their advanced science with us. In exchange, these ‘Grays’ have sought to
rejuvenate their dying species by genetically manipulating human
receptacles for their DNA. But some military hard-liners see this as a
betrayal of humanity, and they launch a manhunt that brings them to
Indiana and the Callaghans' doorstep.”
At one stage Troy director Petersen was set to
direct Ender’s Game, a bona fide science fiction classic by veteran
SF writer Orson Scott Card. A pity that Strieber’s book – his UFO
abduction claims have always been a bit of joke to be honest - is being
Barbarella (Robert Rodriguez) – Barbarella tells the
story of a female mercenary who roams across the universe in a distant
future, undertaking missions that require her physical fearlessness,
ingenuity and sensuality. In travels that span galaxies known and unknown,
Barbarella will challenge tradition, startle the senses and take
audiences on an epic adventure of discovery and wonder. Barbarella
made her debut in 1962 in a French graphic magazine written and
illustrated by Jean-Claude Forest, and her adventures have been published
around the world. The first film version,
starring Jane Fonda produced by Dino De Laurentiis, was released in 1968.
Creature from the Black Lagoon (Breck Eisner)
– Remake of the old 1950s B-movie about a scientific expedition
discovering a prehistoric amphibious creature.
Land of the Lost (Brad Silberling) –
Based on the 1974-77 television series of the same name. The series
revolved around forest ranger Rick Marshall and his children, Will and
Holly, who are caught in a time vortex while rafting on the Colorado River
and transported to a mysterious world populated by dinosaurs.
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Michael
Apted) – Lucy and Edmund Pevensie return to Narnia with their cousin
Eustace where they meet up with Prince Caspian for a trip across the sea
aboard the royal ship The Dawn Treader. Along the way they encounter
dragons, dwarves, merfolk, and a band of lost warriors before reaching the
edge of the world. Third of the Narnia
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Silver Chair (TBC)
– Fourth of the Narnia films. Two
English children undergo hair-raising adventures as they go on a search
and rescue mission for the missing Prince Rilian, who is held captive in
the underground kingdom of the Emerald Witch.
-> WARNER BROS.
Clash of the Titans (TBC) – A remake of the
1981 film version of the myth of Perseus
and his quest to battle both Medusa and the Kraken monster in order to
save the Princess Andromeda. The original movie wasn't that good to begin
with so why anyone would bother remaking it is a bit of a mystery . . .
Justice League of America (George Miller)
– Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, the Flash and other superheroes
unite to fight against evil forces.