RACE TO WITCH
MOUNTAIN
  
STARRING: Dwayne Johnson, AnnaSophia Robb,
Carla Gugino, Ciaran Hinds, Alexander Ludwig, Tom Everett Scott, Christopher
Marquette, Cheech Marin and Garry Marshall
2009, 103 Minutes, Directed by:
Andy Fickman
 This
is not Disney’s first encounter with Witch Mountain, and it most certainly won’t
be their last. However, it’s their loudest contribution to date. A reimagining
of the 1975 motion picture and the 1968 Alexander Key novel, Race to Witch
Mountain does away with all that pesky character development stuff to put
the pedal to the metal and offer family audiences an adventure packed with
stunts, gunfire, and one-liners. It’s definitely a vibrant diversion, and kids
will undoubtedly be glued to the screen, but the high tech, fist-happy approach
leaves much to be desired.
Crash landing on Earth, alien
siblings Sara (AnnaSophia Robb) and Seth (Alexander Ludwig) are desperate to
retrieve a device their planet needs to survive. To reach their ultimate
destination of Witch Mountain, the pair enlists the help of Las Vegas cab driver
Jack Bruno (Dwayne Johnson), who’s trying to avoid any trouble that would land
him back in prison. With Department of Defense goons (led blandly by Ciaran
Hinds) and an interstellar bounty hunter nipping at their heels, Jack becomes
protective of his extraterrestrial charges and fights for their safety,
eventually seeking assistance from discredited astrophysicist Dr. Alex Friedman
(Carla Gugino, fighting an awful wig) to help him return the teens home safely.
Race to Witch Mountain
has little in common with its even-tempered, low-budget forefathers. The new
film is made with the Playstation generation in mind, as director Andy Fickman (The
Game Plan) lays down colorful lights and CG tweaks to lavishly ornament the
world before he promptly destroys it all. Race is an action film at its
core, valuing the beauty of mayhem over the anchor of character composition. The
plot is spelled out in minimal detail, only there to provide a motive for the
stunts, while the rest of the picture is in a constant state of alert, ready to
take the audience on a wild ride as Sara and Seth battle their way back to their
spaceship.
|
"This remake does away with all that pesky character development
stuff!" |
The newfound pacing is
certainly not a bad thing, giving the material a needed kick in the pants when
the script stops needlessly to smell the plastic flowers. Fickman masterminds a
thrill ride atmosphere for Race that keeps the film free from overt
boredom, preferring the characters endure constant movement on freeways, casino
floors, and around the titular mountain to lure the viewer in. This vigor
sacrifices any emotional content, and the absence of heart reverberates
throughout the movie.
Unfortunately, most of the
holes set aside for sentiment are replaced by comedy, with Johnson the vessel
for scripted and unscripted spit-takes that lack spice; he is consistently
dropping the ball with his feeble reactions to mass hysteria. Race is
more a film you want to laugh with than actually do, cruelly leaving wide open
spaces for the cast to land a gut-buster or two, only to see everyone fumble
their shot. With spirited performances all around, it’s not for lack of trying.
It’s just impossible to believe that with this much effort on display, not a
single punchline scores.
While the shootouts and
sprinting manage to entertain in a decidedly PG fashion, Fickman’s little
touches stuffed into the corners of the frame lend Race the personality
it dearly needs. Most notably, cameos by the original Witch Mountain
kids, Kim Richards and Ike Eisenmann, help to liven up the proceedings with a
little retro magic. And an appearance by author/alien abduction survivor Whitley
Strieber gooses the space invader goofiness of the premise. However, the one
appearance that completely blindsided me was Meredith Salenger, who pops up for
a few seconds as Natalie Gann, a television reporter. Now there’s a lovely
sentimental moment.
Granted, Race to Witch
Mountain can become a little numbing at times, particularly during any
extended staging of fisticuffs. Perhaps it should come as little surprise that
the director of The Game Plan and She’s the Man doesn’t have much
skill staging fight choreography. The movie is best appreciated as a flashy
chase film of continuous peril. It’s hardly a suitable replacement for the
earlier installments, yet it doesn’t exactly embarrass the franchise either.
- Brian Orndorf
|
