MEGA PYTHON VS.
STARRING: Deborah Gibson, Tiffany, A
Martinez, Kathryn Joosten, Kevin M. Horton, Carey Van Dyke
2011, 90 Minutes, Directed by:
‘Eighties pop stars, seriously dodgy CGI critters, cheap special effects, rotten
acting and a campy tongue-in-cheek screenplay that is in on the joke: “How dare
you! You crazy, cold-blooded, snake-loving bitch!”
An animal activist played by pop star Debbie Gibson (or Deborah Gibson as the
credits list her), who looks more like a waitress at Hooters than anything else,
lets some giant lab pythons loose in the Florida everglades. “The pythons are at
the top of the food chain. That's just the way it is. That's how it's supposed
to be,” she responds when told that the pythons are threatening several other
endangered species. (Can you imagine any animal rights organization reacting
The mutant pythons start decimating the alligator population and a deranged park
ranger (Tiffany) decides to even the score by feeding the gators an experimental
steroid that makes them grow to enormous sizes. Naturally both animal species
start threatening humans and Mega Python vs. Gatoroid’s two unlikely
heroines (come on! just who the heck decided Tiffany should be in movies?) must
team up to save a nearby city.
All of this makes for a “so bad, it’s good” movie-going experience that is
difficult to actually dislike. An advanced sense of irony as well as some
alcoholic beverages is required obviously. You weren’t expecting an Oscar winner
with that title, were you?
If all else fails you can always just stare at fortysomething ex-pop singer
Tiffany’s ample cleavage as the movie producers probably intended when they made
her wear a revealing evening dress for the film’s climax. Sure, it’s a bit like
perving on your aunt or something and you’ll feel dirty in the morning, but when
it comes to original SyFy TV movies like this you have take all you can get.
By the way, the movie’s tag line is: “Screaming, Scratching, Biting . . . and
that's just THE GIRLS!”