RETURN TO HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (UNRATED) (2007)

Return to House on Haunted Hill (Unrated) (2007)

Actors: Amanda Righetti, Erik Palladino, Cerina Vincent, Tom Riley, Andrew Lee Potts
Director: Víctor García
Format: AC-3, Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, Dubbed, DVD-Video, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC
Language: English
Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only)
Number of discs: 1
Studio: Warner Home Video
DVD Release Date: October 16, 2007
Run Time: 81 minutes

Movie: * *
Disc: * * ½

“I’m sorry,” one character tells another in Return to House on Haunted Hill. “I was too busy staring at your breasts to pay any attention.”

At that stage the same would be probably be said of the audience watching this unnecessary direct-to-DVD sequel to 1999’s House on Haunted Hill remake. Return scores okay in the exploitation stakes: we have two — instead of just one — actresses hired for their breast size and not their acting capabilities, there are lots of gratuitous blood and gore as well as one completely gratuitous nude scene with some hot lesbo action involving ghosts (no, really).

In the plot department Return is totally lacking and the film can’t even manage a decent running time with its thin storyline. It clocks in at a mere 74 instead of the usual 90 minutes if one doesn’t bother counting the end titles. A group of people walk around a vast empty haunted house and is picked off one by one by malevolent ghosts. There’s some malarkey about the house being a mental asylum presided over by a sadistic shrink played by genre regular Jeffrey Combs and a cursed idol. And that’s about it. All that is however left for the audience to do is wonder who’ll die next and in what gruesome way they will be killed (there is no surprise whatsoever at who will survive the ordeal). No wonder the film-makers settled for all the cleavage!

Production values — photography, sets, music, etc. — are however pretty decent for this sort of low-budget affair (filmed in Bulgaria to save on costs) and, like I said, we do get Amanda Righetti (who was ranked as #59 in FHM's “100 Sexiest Women in the World 2005” special supplement) and Cabin Fever star Cerina Vincent. That’s got to count for something, right?

THE DISC: Decent transfer with some unnecessary short fictional featurettes that purport to be real. The trailer for the upcoming new Blade Runner DVD release is about the best thing about the disc.