Six Things We Learned from Watching Resident Evil Afterlife
You’ll be rooting for the zombies in this one!
- Your best chance of surviving the coming zombie apocalypse will be to be young, attractive and good-looking.
- Even though the planet has been overrun by flesh-eating zombies you can take heart in the fact there is a still a wide range of cosmetic products (hair shampoo, lipstick, eyeliner, etc.) available for actresses Milla Jovovich and Ali Larter.
- Unattractive people are not to be trusted. Fat bald guys will perv on you in the shower. Dudes with oily hair will steal your light airplane.
- Hollywood producers are pond scum. Oh wait, we knew that before the time . . .
- Members of ethnic minorities will survive . . . if they’re hot!
- CEOs of huge multinational corporations are evil, uncaring monsters . . . with superpowers. Em, just like they are today . . .