We didn’t like the idea of a Robocop remake and the trailer proves us right . . .
On principle, we are opposed to remakes. After all, can’t Hollywood think up something new? And quick: what was the last a decent science fiction remake you saw? Total Recall? Come on . . .
Thus, we weren’t too surprised when the new trailer for the 2014 remake of the 1987 Paul Verhoeven just confirmed our prejudices.
Here is why we think the new remake is going to suck:
- What the hell is it with new Robocop’s sleek new design? Did Apple build him? He comes in black now?
- Why does Robocop have one human hand now? That looks, well, crap. Is he Michael Jackson?
- What’s with the red visor? Robop is a Cylon now? The love child of that effeminate car in Knight Rider?
- The original was R-rated with OTT ultraviolence by the one-and-only Paul Verhoeven. It is a classic of its sort. The new movie is, um, PG-13 and human Robocop dies in a car explosion!? How lame is that? Compare it to Murphy’s violent demise in the original flick.
- You may think that the 1987 movie is about a robotic law enforcement official, but it is in fact a fantastic satire of American corporate and consumerist culture. The 2014 movie is, well, about a robotic law enforcement official and seems to be a product of that same consumerist culture that was lampooned in the original.
- Too much CGI. All the physical effects made 1987 Robocop look like something that could actually work and exist in the real world.
- Look at Robocop jump . . . the movie should be titled Roboninjacop instead!
- Speaking of ninjas, we’re sure that this remake will be better than Robocop 3 (which had robot ninjas in it – no, seriously) so we’re not ALL negative here . . .