What We Liked and Didn’t Like About Lockout
Scotsmen from space kidnap the President’s daughter!
The American President’s daughter is held hostage by some escaped Scottish prisoners in a high-tech space prison. A wise-cracking and tattooed Guy Pearce (Australian) is sent to rescue her. Yup, it’s Escape from New York in Space alright!
What We Liked:
- Guy Pearce’s wisecracking, wise ass antihero. No seriously.
- Lockout reminds us of the sort of low rent action movie thing they made in the 1980s and 1990s, which usually starred Rutger Hauer or Christopher Lambert. In fact, Lambert also had to escape from a space prison in 2000’s Fortress 2. Ah, glory days!
- If you only want something for some brain dead entertainment on a Friday evening, then Lockout hits the spot. It’ll go down well with some beers and crisps.
- Except for a ropey CGI bike chase at the start the special effects aren’t all that bad.
- We like movies in which the hero has to insert a long needle into someone’s eyeball. So sue me.
- It could have been worse and feature a really annoying techno soundtrack!
What We Didn’t Like:
- Don’t try to apply any logic to it. It’ll make your head hurt.
- Why go to the no doubt enormous expense of building a huge prison in space even if it is to study the long-term effects of hypersleep on humans? There surely has to cheaper ways to go about it.
- Why is a maximum security prison so understaffed? Why are there almost no guards? Budget cuts?
- Why are the space prison’s personnel all cowards?
- Why is there gravity?
- Why is the President’s bodyguard allowed into the booth with the prisoner instead of a prison guard? (Oh wait, there are no guards . . .)
- There is a nearby satellite that serves as a police precinct. What exactly are they policing floating around in Earth orbit?
- Why don’t the hero and the heroine lose consciousness because of the lack of oxygen when they parachute (!) all the way from orbit down to Earth?
- Why doesn’t any of the stray bullets penetrate the satellite’s hull and the oxygen gets sucked out?
- Why must that bomb be placed right in the centre of the structure? If the idea is to blow it up why not save on pilots’ lives and simply launch a missile?
- And so on . . .