What We Liked and Didn’t Like About Immortals
Tarsem Singh’s Greek mythology mesh up makes for a great Blu-Ray demo disc . . .
What we liked:
- The visuals. They are simply stunning. Director Tarsem Singh (The Cell) has his own unique visual style and anyone who accuses him of stealing production and costume designs from 300 has it wrong! If Singh ever stole from anyone, it is himself . . .
- The visuals. Oh wait, we already mentioned that. But seriously: the movie is a triumph of production design and special effects. It all looks eye-poppingly brilliant in razor-sharp 1080p. The Blu-Ray is the sort of disc you keep around to make your friends feel inadequate about their inferior, er, equipment. (Home entertainment equipment, that is.)
- The visuals. Er, never mind.
What we didn’t like:
-What we said about “not stealing” above doesn’t apply to the plot, which is cribbed from the likes of 300, the Clash of the Titans remake and Disney’s (underappreciated) Hercules.
- In essence Immortals is what is wrong with modern blockbusters, ain’t it? It is all CGI mayhem but no soul. It is hard to really become involved with the story or actually care for any of the characters.
- The gods. They are right royal jerks. Perhaps not as big jerks as they are in Greek mythology proper, but they reminded us of European Union politicos who always wait until the 11th hour to actually do something, by when it is usually too late . . .
- Clichés. We’re tired of the ra-ra speech given by the hero before battle, which has been a staple of entertainment from as long ago as Shakespeare’s Henry V back in 1599. Next movie we want the hero to promise all the troops Christmas bonuses and leave it at that. No more “fight for your future” and “fight for those who bore you” (heh, heh) malarkey!
- The outcome of the climactic fight between Mickey Rourke as the bad ass villain and the dude who doesn’t look like Superman, but is still going to play him in any case will only come as a surprise to anyone who hasn’t seen a single Rocky movie.