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Star Wars - Episode III
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ian
McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson
Director: George Lucas
Opening Date: May 19, 2005
the Simpsons episode in which two of Homer’s nuclear plant
co-workers were duelling with lightsabres while arguing
about whether The Phantom Menace or
Attack of the Clones were the worst? Well, come
May 2005 then they’ll have another movie, namely Revenge of
the Sith (the recently titled Episode III) to add to the mix.
Redundant from the outset, the two so-called “prequels”
have so far proven to be major disappointments. Sure, the special effects
were great, but the giddy space opera fun of the original trilogy went
simply missing underneath bland acting, poor dialogue, slow pacing and at
times incomprehensible plotting. When the hype died down on
Phantom Menace (after all it was the first
Star Wars movie in decades!), we were simply
left with a movie that could at best be described as “almost as good as
Return of the Jedi.” Also, long-time fans railed against annoying CGI creatures and bad child actors
aimed at the kiddie market.
Efforts to make Attack of the Clones “darker”
didn’t exactly result in a new Empire Strikes Back.
Instead the movie was probably the worst in the entire series –
technically proficient, but outright dull. No amount of special effects
could make up for an overlong story with gaping plot holes and the most
wooden acting since . . . well, Phantom Menace.
was wise to have “outsourced” Empire Strikes Back
and Return of the Jedi to other
directors and screenwriters back then but, enamoured of his technical toys,
he unfortunately doesn’t want to give up the prequels. This is unfortunate
because I would have loved to have seen what someone like
Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson would
have done with the Star Wars universe (instead
Jackson is remaking the 1930s King Kong – you
can find a script for it here).
Still, Star Wars
fans are an overoptimistic lot and the hype (particularly on the Internet)
will reach fever pitch in the months to come. I’ll probably get a stack of
hate e-mail for calling
the prequels dull and Revenge of the Sith will end up making a huge fortune
at the box office. So it doesn’t matter what a few disgruntled
thirtysomethingers who saw the original trilogy as kids in the late 1970s
have to say about it, right?
(I wanted to end this article on how we at least have
the original movies on DVD, but that isn’t quite
the case since we got the lame
so-called “special edition” versions instead and not the original
movies. Sigh .
Photo Gallery # 2 (Incl.
Plot Summary for Star Wars - Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005):