As Halloween approaches, thoughts of what to be this year cross our minds mixed with what we have already been. While we were scratching our brains we started to think about all the terrible costumes that we have encountered. The childhood costumes of yesterday always have fond memories for us. A plastic outfit with a cheap mask. If you grew up in the Seventies or Eighties, these costumes populated every drug and department store. You know exactly which ones we mean. Many of these were great and a lot of fun. Yet, there were a some that had such potential, but failed miserably. Others were so out there we can’t fathom anyone actually wearing these costumes, let alone actually buying them. Here is our 10 Worst Halloween Costumes from the 70’s and 80’s. Thankfully, our parents were either too cool or too smart to buy any of the following.
Editor’s Note: Sorry that all of these are not Sci-Fi.
10. Darth Vader Costume
Who didn’t want to be the Dark Lord of the Sith from Star Wars? However, do you think Darth Vader walked around with a picture of himself on his chest? This costume could have made you the biggest badass on the block. Instead it screamed, dork!
9. Vincent from The Black Hole Costume
Disney’s dark classic, The Black Hole, had all kinds of products to combat the onslaught of Star Wars merchandise. This costume has many of the same failings at the Darth Vader costume. Only this time it also has a round head that was too small for your face.
8. Admiral Ackbar Costume
Okay, today being Admiral Ackbar, from Return of the Jedi, would be kind of cool. The “it’s a trap” jokes would fly all night long. Back in the day, who would want to be a giant talking fish that had two minutes of screen time? In all seriousness, it would have been better to use only the mask and say you were Rocky Dennis from Mask.
7. Ilia from Star Trek The Motion Picture Costume
From one the most boring films of all time comes one of the most boring characters in the Star Trek universe. I’m sure every little girl wanted to be the bald Enterprise officer that gets turned into a living probe, right? Know this, there is probably several land fills out there packed with these costumes.
6. James Bond Moonraker Costume
How easy is this costume? A yellow jump suit with black trim and a Roger Moore mask. This would have been a perfect costume for a kid to walk around the neighborhood on Halloween. Instead all we got was this funky mess. The mask alone would have worked with a good suit. This was just plain stupid.
5. Rubik Cube Costume
Raise your hand if you wanted to be a hand held puzzle for Halloween. No come on, raise your hand if you wanted to be a hand held puzzle. I said raise your hand! WTF were these people thinking?
4. Father Murphy Costume
This one is actually kind of funny. One of the Los Angeles Ram’s “Fearsome Four” got a acting job on TV as a man who pretends to be a priest to save some kids. Here is one of the most ferocious football players of all time pretending to be a gentle lamb. I only hope someone wore the mask, his jersey, and tackled kids for their candy.
3. Chuck Barris from The Gong Show Costume
The Unknown Comic would have been a better costume. Now, after seeing Confessions of a Dangerous Mind being Chuck Barris for Halloween sounds like a good idea. Back then, not so much. Again this costume is not only terrible but poorly executed and just a terrible idea.
2. Atari’s Asteroids Costume
Crater Face! There we said it. Don’t get us wrong, we loved the game but why on earth would anyone want to be an asteroid? The pilot sure, maybe even an alien, but a giant space rock?
1. Joanie Loves Chachi Costume
They actually made more than one of these. I know we are just as terrified as you are now. Crap products like this are the reason why Scott Baio is still living in the lap of luxury. Thankfully, we couldn’t find any Joanie costumes. Perhaps they too are also at the bottom of a land fill.